The Natalie Interview

  Friend of the blog Natalie joins me to primarily about someone who the blog isn't overly fond of. Natalie is famous for being a bird of flight. She is no flightless bird! What you will now read is our exact conversation with only one redaction indicated by "[Redacted]". Enjoy...

C: Interview!

C: Are you ready?

N: YES

C: How’s the weather 

N: The weather is something that I am quite fond of. I was a meteorologist for a semester. Today it was a high of 62 partly cloudy.

C: Sounds lovely 

N: Thanks

C: What are your thoughts on people who are actively in a hummus kick?

N: They are HELLA annoying. Attention seeking for real. Like it’s just chick pea mush. 

C: I hate people like that

C: I anyone you hate right now?

N: Yeah her name starts with A 

N: Ends with lison 

C: I have a “friend” like that

N: Yeah. 

N: I bet. 

C: She’s the worst

N: I agree

C: She’s literally a flightless bird!

C: She can’t even fly!!!

C: Why even be a bird then!!!

N: LITERALLY

N: LIKE WTF 

N: UGH

C: I actually despise her

N: attention seeking 

C: What are your least favorite things about her

N: 1) how she wears a necklace with the initials “CD” on it when her initials are CLEARLY “AD”

N: 2) How she leaves her toothbrush at everyone’s apartment 

N: 3) how she split up our college friend group from 4 to 3

N: 4) How she called me out in a previous interview. 

C: She’s what’s wrong with the world, her and her gamma!

C: Her gamma might be the only person worse than her

C: [Redacted]

N: Whoah that’s really mean

C: Maybe I can’t put that on the blog 

N: Yeah that might be too far 

C: If that’s too mean we’ll censor that

C: She’s the worst thing to ever happen though 

N: Yeah I agree 

C: How long have you absolutely hated her

N: For the past 2 hours and 28 minutes 

C: Ever since I saw her smug five year old face in kindergarten I knew I couldn’t possibly be friends with her for at least thirteen years, that’s how unbearable she is

N: Wow I can only imagine how you felt 

C: I would rather put my hand in a blender than talk to her

N: I would rather climb mt. Everest in a tshirt. 

C: Ryann’s cool though

C: But Ali is SOOOOOOO problematic 

N: SOOOOOOOO problematic

C: Most problems in the world can be traced to her

C: Just ask the goat

N: The goat would totally agree

C: We all love the goat so much more than Ali

N: I would love to hear the goats side you should interview the goat next

C: I think I have to

N: Def

C: Well it has been lovely talking to you (unlike any conversation with Ali), I hope to have you on the blog again soon. Any closing remarks?

N: My closing remark is that Alison, when u read this, I hope u [Redacted]

C: I couldn’t agree more

N: Thank you for having me, connor. 

C: Any time!